You can probably tell by now that something big is happening in my life when I’m quiet.
Some of you who know me may already know this… others probably don’t have a clue. It’s not something I’ve ever really talked about.. it’s one of those really personal things that isn’t a secret.. just that I tried to not think about it.
The abridged version: My mom had me young. She didn’t stay with my biological father (who was also young). When she married my dad when I was 4, they got my biological father to sign adoption paperwork and that was that. He had never been involved in my life – but dad had always been there… and at that age, I didn’t really fully understand everything going on. At this point, it doesn’t really matter. It is what it is.
Last week, I got up one morning to find a Facebook notification in my e-mail inbox saying I’d received a message from Bio-F. Shock, tears, complete emotional upheaval ensue.
I didn’t know what to think. I didn’t know how to feel. I always knew he was out there – I guess I just didn’t expect him to be right here.
After a few days of letting it sink in and a heart to heart with my dad, many long phone calls with my mom and even lots of talking it out with my “imaginary” friends online (different perspectives – and some of them have been in similar situations), I’ve found peace within again.
God wouldn’t have brought him into my life for nothing. Everything in life happens for a reason. I may not be able to see why right now, but it doesn’t really matter. Our experiences mold us, make us who we are. We don’t stop growing once we become adults… if anything, I’ve grown more (figuratively) as an adult than I did as a child. And I wouldn’t have been emotionally ready to hear from him earlier. I’m at a good place in life now. I can handle this.
We’ve been e-mailing back and forth – just getting to know each other. It’s weird to see that though I’ve always said “Nurture over Nature”…. nature really was at play in my life anyways. Guess where I got my love to cook? Or how about liking to talk? I’m sure we’ll uncover other things in common as time goes on.
Who knows where we go from here… but at least there is peace. We’ll cross that bridge when we get there.