Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Lunch time ramblings

As I sit here on my lunch "break" (I eat at my desk and usually work through lunch), I realize I have a problem.

I'm looking back at my posts and come to realize that they are all about food.

Now I know where these hips come from (HA!).

My weight has been on my mind a bit for the past few months. Before I got pregnant, I lost 10 pounds. It was wonderful. I only gained 23 pounds while pregnant and, thanks to breast feeding, it all melted off within 6 months. And then I lost another 15 pounds.

As we talk about a time line for baby #2, I worry (and how can we not talk about a time line?Everyone is constantly saying "It's time for another" or asking "When can we expect another baby?). Will I gain 60 pounds next time? Will I be able to take it off next time? I'm nearing my 30th birthday. It's harder to lose weight after you hit 30, or so I'm told. Am I just going to put it all back on (plus some)?

It's a stupid thing to worry about, I know. For the first time in my adult life I'm at a place where I'm comfortable with myself and how I look. So it makes me worry. And then, obviously, I feel stupid and selfish because there are bigger things to worry about.

Will the next baby be healthy too? Can I handle 2 kids on my own with minimal help with our families 4 hours away? Can we afford another mouth to feed and bottom to diaper? Am I really ready for more sleepless nights (Monkey still doesn't sleep through the night!)? How will Monkey feel sharing the spotlight? Can I possibly love another child as much as I love her - and love them equally?

My mind tends to run away from me sometimes. And runs a vicious circle. And I wonder why I've been having trouble sleeping lately (that plus the myriad of medical issues our families are dealing with at the moment, I'm sure).

For the time being, I really should just stick to worrying about getting all of our garden harvested.

And for those of you that are wondering and asking about baby #2 - for the record: No, I'm not pregnant.


Michelle said...

I can completely relate to where you're coming from. I have many of the same concerns. Speaking as someone who has already passed the big 30, I'll be honest, it's slower, but you can and will still loose the weight. (Of course, I haven't yet had #2, but #1 was after 30...)

Osh said...

*taps foot*

Rabid Outdoorsman said...

One at 2 years and 1 month and the other at 3 months . . . I can't remember the last time I slept . . . two is twice as hard and then some! BUT I wouldn't ever think of changing a single thing!

maine momma of 3 (formally: stayathomemommy from maine) said...

Yes, worry about the garden, let baby #2 come when it's ready ;) I've learned it's easier if you don't worry about it.

You'll lose the weight if you commit to it, I lost the baby weight plus some after the twins (and I was 30 when I had them)... it took a little will power but if I can do it anyone can... and geesh, you haven't even gained it yet!!! LOL!!!!

Have a happy day!!

Country Girl said...

After 30 is harder, I agree! I never had to worry much about my waistline until the last year or two. I have 2 kids 6 & 8 and I say closer in age the better. My kids have their moments but most of the time they are each others playmates, best friends, cheerleaders, teacher...I could go on and on. My friends have kids with wide age differences and they seem to regret because the kids interests are on a whole other level.
We too have no family for the kids, it was hard when they were little but looking back I have no regrets and love the fact that John or I has always been there for them.

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